Time capsule

In an effort to preserve my pandemic journal, I went into facebook briefly before I re-deactivate, and copied all those covidpinions to paste here. I paste my own responses to comments too. I know that’s selective but I didn’t want to post others’ writing without their permission.

Stories from FB posts

January

26

I was in China during SARS in 2003. I ended up cutting my year a month short and leaving because I was nervous about China shutting down travel and my getting stuck in a rural town with no international airport where I was one of two Americans (I was less nervous about getting SARS).

When I did leave, they had already shut down quite a bit — I had to drive to Dalian airport and stop at several temperature checkpoints. The hotels in Dalian weren’t letting people stay there (I think the city had SARS confirmed cases), but American hotels made exceptions for Americans (and the people with me, thank goodness).

One thing that stuck with me: when I told my boss, the owner of the local Chinese newspaper I worked for, that I wanted to leave, he didn’t stop me but thought I was silly / overreacting. He said that these things happen regularly in the natural course of time, and are good for population control (!). It’s an easy thing for a super-rich dude with mad guanxi to say, I suppose. And of course, SARS trickled off steadily after I left, arguably validating his view that I was being hysterical. (To be honest I also had the practical reason that they’d canceled the Beijing LSAT — the first ever, actually — and if I didn’t head back home I’d have to postpone law school another year.)

Anyway, having traveled in the thick of SARS and Ebola, I know the drill. Going to pick up my masks, etc., this afternoon.

30

I am in Japan.

CORONAVIRUS OMGAAAAAA!!!

Am I missing something? Yes, it transmits between people, but so does everything else. The death rate is pretty low (and it seems like even that number could be inflated). By all accounts seems like SARS was way more likely to kill you. And people are freaked out about the transmission within Japan, but all of the cases so far are traceable to people who came from Wuhan.

One thing that helps me feel less worried is that everyone is paying a ton of attention. Lots of people are wearing masks. I wear one on the elevator and the subway too. There’s a lot of internet hype about how they don’t work… but I don’t know, how can they not? It certainly makes me feel better when I hear coughing. I get that healthy people hoarding them is bad though. If it makes anybody feel any better, I didn’t buy any new masks — I’m wearing the ones I have left over from Ebola.

My work schedule is up in the air because people who aren’t in Asia already don’t want to fly here. So the original suggestion was to postpone the whole thing. But since I *am* here, it may benefit them for me to do the thing I came here to do anyway… so, who knows. I have at least one and maybe two other investigations I’m dealing with, so not exactly thumb twiddling. Incidentally, I’m holding three of my investigation interviews in the same hotel conference room where I was interrogated by police after the sauna fire.

And speaking of the sauna fire…the place looks identical to before, and everything is fully operational. Not even a sign saying “this is not a towel bin” that I could see, though I I get the impression the fire wasn’t actually that bad, that nothing got burned, just a lot of smoke (one of the managers actually told me this at the time, but I wasn’t sure if she was just trying to make me feel better), and the investigation part was mainly to make sure nobody was a sauna terrorist or whatnot. But who knows. Nobody has specifically recognized me except for one person at the spa who recognized me even before the fire because I didn’t write on Shabbat.

I will close by saying that Alexa has made my business trips sooooo much better. I basically got Eden ready for school this morning. Now I am doing some work while watching Emet and Michael jam in the studio in the background.

[in response to comments about comparison to SARS]

…i just feel like i keep hearing “this is how this virus is DIFFERENT from [anything we’ve seen before]” — also, pretty much everyone who had SARS got a diagnosis because it was a more serious illness. What i was hearing is that a lot of younger healthier people who got this one in Wuhan may have just gotten better without seeking treatment…

…DIFFERENT [from SARS] not WORSE. and no, what SARS did in 9 months [in contrast to spreading quicker than any other dangerous coronavirus] was kill a much greater % of people who got it …

…i think we’re seeing the global system function really well, actually. Wuhan not so much…

so, either we can or can’t compare to SARS. I tend to think we can’t at the moment, but the closest comparison I see is death rate, and death rate is probably going to be higher at the beginning. So…

…when I see headlines like “ONE CASE IN INDIA.” and “A DUDE IN CHICAGO GOT IT FROM HIS WIFE WHO CAME BACK FROM WUHAN” — when these are the headline worthy things — I actually just feel like everything is going to be fine… [note: I meant here that the headlines were distorting the risk through damaging their credibility through alarmism / sensationalism, causing skeptics to take it less seriously than they should.]

…[That coronavirus is more dangerous than SARS (even if less deadly on an individual level)] is my point — the headlines WANT to sensationalize, but all they’ve got is “JAPAN BUS DRIVER CATCHES IT AFTER NEVER GOING TO WUHAN — (BUT DRIVING A WHOLE BUSLOAD OF WUHAN FOLKS)”…

…I don’t think we have a statistically significant death rate yet. Call me back when a single death occurs outside of China…

…Oh the headlines are definitely catching that part [that this is the real deal]…

…2.2% death rate in a medium-sized relatively provincial city in China. SARS and MERS much worse. The global awareness seems to be extremely effective, though — they caught it before it had spread beyond China in any meaningful way; you have to be living in a hole not to know about this, and people who travel internationally are going to be highly motivated to monitor themselves / get tested / not spread it to their family…

…I just think there’s an inherent tension between — “we can’t draw any conclusions about the 2.2% death rate” and “THIS RAPID SPREAD IS LIKE NOTHING WE’VE EVER SEEN BEFORE” when the rapid spread is 1. pretty much completely within china 2. during the absolute peak travel period 3. the low number used to calculate the spread seems to suffer from problems in underreporting because healthier people may not have had anything worse than a cold…

…No question that SARS was a slower-spreading disease — but I also don’t think there’s much of a question that it was a deadlier disease. Plus, the global response has been better, and China’s response has been quicker and more decisive. The reason SARS was so scary was because if you got it, it seemed like a coin toss whether you would die from it. Also, the government was responding so sketchily that it felt like you could show a fever with shitty medical equipment and then get thrown in a bunker with a bunch of SARS people and DIE. Those are things I don’t see with this one…

…I don’t know that “great” is how I’d describe [China’s response]. I also don’t think I’m suggesting to ignore the global risk. But I feel confident that SARS was a scarier disease. there were many statements of the sort that you’re making here back then — and it just kind of petered out. part of the problem is that these things AREN’T predictable, even with the very best models. One thing that seems like a good piece of advice, STOP EATING BATS FOR THE LOVE OF Pete…

…To clarify, I’m not challenging the global response even a little. Of course we need to take it seriously, and I’m really happy to see it. Every morning I wake up and the headlines are reassuring to me, because it really seems controlled outside of China. The only point I’m really making is that I’m not scared and you can’t scare me. And part of the reason I’m not scared is BECAUSE it’s being taken this seriously!…

…the main thing I’m objecting to is the alarmism, and people paying attention to a risk that is minor and neglecting a bigger risk…

February

1

The worst thing about observing Shabbat … returning to THE FRIGGING APOCALYPSE.

Even worse when I’m in Asia — 1. I missed an entire business day 2. When Shabbat ends it’s 4 am Saturday morning at home, so it’s not like I can actually get in touch with anyone who needed me. 3. In this particular case, I did legit return to like 8 blazing work fires. (But no sauna fire, despite that I did spend the afternoon down at the spa.)

26

My “unofficial” updated take on COVID-19 (NOT legal advice and NOT on behalf of my employer).

-I don’t think coronavirus is going away. Once it got out of China I’m not sure containment would have ever worked. Given what we’re learning about incubation and carrier status, maybe even in China it never would have worked. Though sure seems like that Diamond Princess thing was done in the worst possible way. IDK though. I don’t claim to be a public health expert. I can’t wait to get Evan to debate with me.

-Asia travel is a job hazard for me. No one is going to make me go there, but my threshold for NOT going there when I otherwise would is probably higher than some.

-I am monitoring the situation closely and day by day. What I am looking for is not “will I get coronavirus” but “is there a decent chance of my becoming patient zero in Atlanta” and “will things get bad enough that I’ll get government-quarantined.” I do not think there is a realistic chance that I’d get stuck in Japan and not allowed to evacuate, but I’ll of course look at that too (that was my fear with SARS).

-Since my main worry is getting caught up in government spiraling, I’m paying the most attention to goverment statements. Currently, Japan’s travel advisory level is 2. And Japan has indicated that they’re in “slowing / minimizing spread” mode with no signs of “lockdown” mode.

-My other worry is people’s judgment. But… I do not believe there is a lot of use in panicking or living fear-driven lives.

-After seeing my Wife Swap episode you may be nervous about my handling of germs…I CAN step up my game (and have already done so my last Japan trip) when there’s a known issue like this.

[in response to comments]

… this would be a different story if it were killing kids (particularly if they were infected from nonsympomatic carriers), but that is not happening, and in fact, the flu is much more dangerous to kids…

…I haven’t heard any child death, not a single one. Can you show a source [for a pulmonologist’s statement that “deaths he’s hearing of are mainly children and the elderly”]?…that sounds like flu, not COVID-19. Are you sure he wasn’t talking about the flu? “Children and the elderly” are typical of many diseases but it seems not to be the case with this one. https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/specific-groups/children-faq.html . It’s possible I’m missing something but I feel like I’m up on this — I even listen to the tinfoil hat podcasts that talk about China burning bodies — and have not been able to find a single reference to a child dying of this.

COVID-19 deaths are happening mostly in 1. people with health conditions that makes them prone to infection (and I’ve even only heard of adults under this category) 2. people over 60 (and apparently 80 mortality rate is even higher) 3. I have also heard that smokers of any age are more likely to die from it.

So… children are disproportionately NOT dying of this. Your pulmonologist needs to explain what he’s talking about or stop saying it…

…The elderly part isn’t disputed. and [Chart someone else posted] helpfully points out that literally NO ONE under 10 has died which to me is remarkable…I get disproportionately outraged by doctors spreading misinformation like this…

…death rate is just as likely to be lower than [current numbers] as higher — it will be higher though, if the medical system is overwhelmed and the supply chain is broken… everyone will die of other things too…

…I stand by everything i said in our previous debate, the main points of which are (i) the death rate is low and (ii) panicked responses are the real threat…In my view there are probably a ton of unreported cases of asymptomatic ppl.

27

Well…I woke up this AM and Japan had closed the schools! The “word on the street” (and I believe this is a fair inference) is that this is motivated by the desire not to cancel the Olympics. But… I’m not sure anyone is going to want to go to the Olympics if these headlines keep inciting alarm the way they are.

I can’t see how realistically my scheduled trip will happen at this point, but this situation is so different every day. My mindset is, the more we can go about our daily business without panicking (with enhanced hygiene practices, because we should assume this thing is going to be circulating soon if it isn’t already), the lower the impact to the global economy/ supply chain… Everything I see suggests to me that the economic impact will kill more people than the disease, the latter of which the vast majority of people are getting over without incident. Those economy-related deaths probably can’t / won’t be tracked either, so we’ll just keep panicking about the disease.

Viruses mutate… human behavior is way more of a wildcard. I anticipate a long-term, maybe permanent, impact to the way we do business, and a short-term major disruption to our lives (minimizing spread while scientists figure more stuff out). *I do not think we should panic about either of these things.* We just need to adapt, and we can do that.

I am focused on making reasonable efforts to make any short-term disruption less unpleasant (“bored kids,” anyone?). Ensuring we have enough toilet paper and such. Also downloading a bunch in anticipation of bandwidth overload. I am also contemplating long-term business solutions for my clients and trying to help them ease their employees’ anxiety. Hey, maybe the world will adopt the Japanese bow greeting after all…

As part of the group of lower-risk folks (nonsmokers under 60 without hypertension or other preexisting conditions, from what I can see), I personally am concentrating on avoiding spreading the disease rather than freaking out about getting it myself … So, even though I have no known contact that would suggest I have coronavirus right now, I think it’s worth my effort to avoid things like hugging parents (sorry mom), sanitizing just before shaking hands with anyone.

I have found the above mindset helpful to me in keeping perspective. And I am constantly overcome with a deep gratitude that kids seem to be least affected. I am an anxious person and not really experiencing anxiety over this… though I read somewhere that super anxious people actually do pretty well in actual crisis situations because they’ve spent so much anticipatory energy fearing them…

[in response to comments]

…[I] read the Atlantic article — we will all get it. We can’t contain it. Still should not panic. I feel like we know enough to stop trying to contain… but I’m not a health expert…

…Is [link about Israeli scientists having a vaccine in three weeks] realistic? I have no way of assessing it. Info I’ve heard suggested that it would require months if not years. Hypothetically if we could say with confidence we’d have a vaccine in 3 weeks, I suppose I’d be more supportive of hitting “pause” on the entire globe…I thought sars research had stopped after eradication — if they’re saying they continued great

March

3

The stress of managing an Asia practice at a firm that has outposts in every world region except Asia, during mass hysteria originating from Asia, is crushing, y’all

EDIT: well… perhaps the stigma will shift from Asia to WASHINGTON STATE? I am hating myself for wishing that this thing would go ahead and expose itself here, but a major outbreak in the US will hopefully help with the major Asia stigmatization I’m experiencing and hearing about from my clients.

10

God, this pandemic is isolating. The world has picked the response pretty much guaranteed to result in mass panic (you can’t spell “pandemic” without “panic,” eh?), economic devastation, and diversion of resources away from the people who actually need it … People are judging the F out of each other for their views on this thing, and even *the fact that a person has or shares views*. Right now I’m on all the radars at work (this would probably be a good thing if i were the type to know when to shut up, but I am not) and several of my closest work relationships are strained because of my views on coronavirus (spoiler alert: “follow the public health authorities… and don’t alter life / routines beyond that” — and what I’m being met with is “what the f*** is wrong with you for even considering getting on a plane”). I have had knots in my stomach constantly since Shabbat ended.

I had to do a bullying / harassment training from 12:30–3:30 AM (I was supposed to be in Japan this week, remember?) and I just logged off of it, and noticed that my physical anxiety was gone after spending 3 hours not having agonized over coronavirus advice. Now I don’t want to go to sleep because I’m enjoying my calm stomach feeling.

If coronavirus *were* some kind of psychological weapon, bravo.

12

I’ll summarize tonight’s developments for you:

It’s time to download stuff for your kids to watch on netflix while xfinity is overloaded because we’re all stuck at home. Perhaps we can download some Tom Hanks while he gets better!

EDIT: Also… I can stockpile wine and still flatten the curve right?

12 (2nd post)

When considering social distancing, this is not a “why not social distance?” question for most people. Most of us on my facebook friends list live in a privilege bubble as do the people making decisions on closures. We / they are not the ones who will financially implode as a result of this.

Please make sure your opinions have considered:

Countries that are imposing drastic measures / closures have different social safety nets than we do.

Financially desperate people do financially desperate things.

Scared people do scared things.

Such as (a) crime — Societal disorder puts a different category of people in danger than coronavirus. Namely, rich, privileged people. And to some extent, ALL people.

and (b) self-preservation — people don’t want to lose pay so they’ll hide their symptoms. Which… leads to spread of virus.

Social distancing without proper guidance on what that means will lead the distancing people instead go to the doctor when they don’t need to, and overwhelm the medical system. This is what is happening in Italy — people who don’t need to be going to the doctor are going and others are dying at home and their loved ones are quarantined with their bodies.

So… in my view, the flavor of “social distancing” I’m seeing is incredibly short-sighted, doesn’t accomplish the stated goal, and puts everyone at risk.

Just… consider those things before running around hashtagging.

Thx

[in response to comments]

…and the poor will rise up against the rich bc they feel they have nothing to lose…Over a virus that only kills a segment of the population that could be served if only we would focus not on NOT CATCHING THIS, but on keeping it away from THEM, and devoting our medical resources to THEM…

…[in response to suggestion to donate] food bank isn’t going to stop people who suddenly become financially unstable from committing crimes!…

…my whole point is that [the Trump administration response] IS “MORE measured” when it comes to the psychological pandemic…also, trump just waived student loan payments… and he put a time clock on the europe ban. I actually think he’s causing a lot LESS panic than everybody else, and causing less panic is a good thing unless people undermine you by causing more panic.

I would feel differently if this were the bubonic plague. But trump’s desired response is more akin to what I want (target resources to actual sick / older people)…

…the markets are crashing because of people other than trump.

The response has been totally reactive … Trump wasn’t, and the sensationalist news media incited MASS HYSTERIA. → stock market. You can’t blame this crash on trump…

…this nonsense [immediate and indefinite shutdown] is going to cause more deaths and suffering than if we had done nothing whatsoever about COVID. and just let it kill 15% of old / sick people. not that i’m advocating that THAT is what we should have done — by any means. But this is worse. We could have helped the vulnerable and not hurt EVERYONE in the process.

Trump isn’t nuanced enough to get to where i’m at on that… but he wasn’t overly reactive. Where he miscalculated was that he has always been able to control the media narrative and he hasn’t been able to this time…

…[Trump] was forced to respond to the markets, yes, and i think he did probably the best he could with that. (except the rhetoric is fucking terrible and republicans need to cooperate in congress)…

…the death rate is 15% or less for people in the most vulnerable categories. less when they have good medical care.

the panic is going to result in crime (it already has in GA — a stabbing and a shooting — and GA has virtually no true local outbreaks), panic and anxiety among MASS swaths of the population, and financial instability for MUCH more than 15% of the people who would ahve died of coronavirus…

…i’m not advocating BUSINESS AS USUAL. — people think the choices are nothing or THIS. That is absolutely absurdist thinking. History (if there is a history) will be unkind to this period.

I don’t blame anyone for thinking what they think. It’s the natural byproduct of a twitter society where literally, people are taking their cues from hashtags. like # socialdistancing and # flattenthe curve…

…i can agree on re no one will admit they were wrong. for the most part. I do really think that when the awful awful toll on people and extent of human suffering on response is calibrated, there will be some reflection and adjustment for next time…

…i just got off a CDC call that was basically all about how — BECAUSE THE ECONOMY IS SHUTTING DOWN and because people are hoarding because of the panic that the media has hoisted upon them — the people taking care of covid patients CAN’T GET MASKS.

The disease is ACTUALLY spreading worse because of this — and the people who need treatment can’t get it bc their doctors are sick.

BTW, I would be fine with a TIME LIMITED travel shutdown so that communities can tackle the response. With messaging on the end game and the reasoning. (“we’re finding a vaccine, learning about transmission”) and allowing older and vulnerable individuals to stay home. But this is absolutely reactive and awful…

…i know you’re not advocating healthy people buying masks — but that’s the foreseeable consequence of the panic! Why would healthy people NOT buy masks when they are being fed the message of EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF! SOCIAL DISTANCE!…

…How does overwhelming the medical system testing healthy people for a cold [where system is overwhelmed and testing shortage exists] “save untold numbers of lives,” at least without risking many others? Death by suicide tops this number, why aren’t we responding to that?

Something that kills 15% of the old and sick warrants a response targeted to the old and sick.

This response speculatively saves some old and sick, but has devastated the entire world and killed untold number of people bc most of these types of deaths aren’t counted.

I’ll be interested to see if there is a spike in suicide and murder rate…

…[I would prefer to] isolate / support the old and sick; devote more resources to finding cure / treament / researching / vaccine; everyone else work your butt off and keep the supply chain going…

…People don’t have faith in the federal government, that is definitely contributing to the pandemonium. But that honestly is not because of Trump or at least not just because of him.

this is a foreseeable result of hashtag culture and what i object to is politically weaponizing it, which fuels his fire, is unhelpful, etc.

Where you can critique trump is that HIS POLICIES have made this worse — no safety net. But that’s not WHY we are overreacting. A contributing factor but not what you are talking about

…I don’t know that we did ‘botch” the initial response. The thing is ridiculously easily transmissible. what made this a crisis was the panicked reactionary response — the one of the past 2 weeks increasing…

…My real point is that even if we were to decide to shut the economy down, there is a better way we could have done it that would have spared more suffering. And the reason we didn’t care about that is bc we don’t think of mental health as real.

And that piece has nothing to do with Trump and I think making it about trump is part of the problem.

Give people basic certainties and time periods. Check out Switzerland, UK.

And if this lifestyle continues toward Demolition Man land… physical health is not worth it. I’d rather not live in that world (NOT saying I would take myself out of it)…

cancer [is also a crisis]. Infectious disease is scary (NOTE: did not mean to imply that cancer is an infectious disease, loll, just that antyhing that causes death is a crisis). But what made this something that causes everyone to suffer was humans being short-sighted and reactionary…

…you can’t not participate in hashtag culture. It’s like saying “I don’t have TV therefore anything i do isn’t affected by the fact that everyone else watches TV”…

…just say “for a period of 2 weeks, at which time we will revisit” — like, come on “until further notice” is unnecessarily panic inducing and i[‘m seeing it ALL OVER THE PLACE…

…so — i don’t blame anyone for this response. It doesn’t stop me from thinking it is extreme, drastic, and causes more harm than good.

…But once the dominoes start to fall, you can’t blame them from falling…

the numbers are speculative and I find it fascinating that no one has even bothered to try to quantify the negative externalities of the response (or even flag it for people!). Indeed — death is permanent. It’s also permanent for the people who will die bc they can’t get their medical supplies or can’t afford their drugs bc of broken supply chain. If this were a “more or less death” it would be a no brainer…

…a bunch of countries [tried to cover up the true numbers / avoid testing]. I don’t agree w/ it but it’s not out of line w/the world…

13

The COVID response proves that mental illness / mental health is still not not considered a “real” health issue worth considering when making policy.

I have been free of suicidal thoughts for over 5 years, until this morning.

I am saying this not as a cry for help for myself — I am privileged and have access to medical care and a strong support system and after the last time, I have made a commitment not to act on these thoughts that I intend to adhere to.

I will be fine. But not everyone is as privileged as I am. So I am saying this about myself because everyone else who is feeling this way deserves to be considered.

EDIT: There are people who have had suicidal thoughts and there are people who haven’t. It’s really easy for me to tell the difference when I interact with people about suicide. I don’t expect people who haven’t to understand, but please just defer to the paragraphs above. I do not want attention for myself. The thing that will help my dark feelings is if you actually listen to what I’m saying about everything else. And if you really care about people who are suicidal, write your Congressman / etc. Thank you.

[response to comments]

thank you [for the love and support], but this is not what this post is about…

…When this settles down I will try to make darn sure that people who make decisions like shutting down the entire economy and causing a massive panic, at the behest of people who have the privilege to survive that, pay attention to it next time a “real” disease comes along…

……[The reason this is triggering is] basically I have lost my faith in humanity…To answer your question though, what has triggered me specifically, and my anxiety, is that synagogues are closing.

So when people most need spiritual comfort… in a religion where the law is you have to pray together… we are isolated.

Reflexively. Citing “because CDC” without actually linking a page… and I cannot find anything the CDC has said that would justify that. Taking additional measures, yes. Using bigger spaces, sure. canceling group meals, fine. But shutting down and abandoning people in their time of need? Wow.

…[web-based services is] still a socially isolating signal. I believe the minyan requirement is precisely for times like these…I think [web minyan] sort of undermines the purpose of minyan requirements, but for the sake of people who have deaths they need to mourn, I’m hoping they clarify the minyan streaming issue.

or, maybe they could get a group of 10 only, healthy, standing across the room from each other, to pray in front of the live stream…

16

I am doing some “emotional social distancing” as some of you already know. This included a short deactivation of facebook, but I decided I wanted to document my experience. I encourage others to as well, in whatever way they feel comfortable, as this is certainly a historically unprecedented event in our lifetimes. I’m going to try to avoid responding to comments. But I suck at that, as we all know.

Propaganda is powerful, and no one is immune from it. We already know from the last presidential election how powerful social media propaganda is. I find that very intelligent people tend not to check themselves on this point, but there is not a single person on the planet who is immune from propaganda. We’re wired for it. The best we can do (just like with subconscious bias) is “check” it and remain aware of it.

While we still have choices to make, I believe that everyone is best served to make decisions based on something other than social media (including this post! Meta.). Particularly news articles. News articles can look extremely authoritative, but they are packaged a certain way and they frame the data a certain way. News organizations are also under no real obligation to avoid material omissions. Further, when circulated on social media they’re often accompanied by the poster’s editorializations (the main example I see of this is that “flatten the curve” diagram with no context / no link to the actual CDC, with the poster’s own thoughts on what it means and the implication that the thoughts have come from direct CDC statements).

Though even more difficult, I believe that people should make decisions based on something other than what your friends’ / family’s / peers’ decisions are and whether they are shaming you.

Look at the sources and evaluate them yourself. Look at what the CDC is saying… and please, before telling other people that the CDC is saying to do something, look at what the CDC is actually, contextually, saying for people versus businesses versus community organizations versus faith-based organizations… and in your specific community. I see a ton of people yelling at other people to follow the CDC. Then I look at the CDC guidance … and it doesn’t say that.

Obviously abide by your local governments’ rules. Obviously. Increasingly that means that choices like going out for nonessential events like restaurants will be taken away from us. I can disagree w/ some of those choices based on the negative economic externalities I see pouring into my inbox every 3 minutes… but OBVIOUSLY we need to comply with what government officials have imposed, and we should take very seriously the direct suggestions coming out of their mouths as well.

And again, suggest to infuse your communications with empathy for those who are already losing their jobs and acknowledgement of the externalities. There is a time and a place for yelling and screaming but when everyone is scared, it’s just as likely to alienate people during a pandemic. And of course, no one is going to get this perfect so be nice to people who don’t get it perfect too.

[responses to comments]

PS Just FYI here is what I’m doing (don’t rely on me, like I said)

-washing hands BEFORE AND AFTER using restroom, eating, touching face, touching public surface.

-Using sanitizer and/or bleach wipes when handwashing unavailable and also after washing my hands if available easily (yes I’m bleaching my hands).

-Wiping down my phone, wallet, etc. similarly.

-I try to go by myself to the grocery store, at off-peak times, and stay away from people.

-I am not seeing anyone I know is high-risk.

-I am monitoring for any sort of symptom. I won’t do anything if I have any symptoms.

Here are the controversial ones:

-not staying home 100% of the time. I am not planning to do that until I’m ordered to by a government. I don’t think that level of extremity is warranted, nor healthy.

-right now I have to keep going to work for a number of reasons but I’m trying to work remotely more often (when the kids aren’t in the house) and I’m like I said, bleaching my hands all the time.

-I am willing to let the kids go to the playground, wiping with germicidal wipes where I can do so. I was ridiculed for doing so over the weekend.

-I will go to shul. If I walk in and see a crowd where I can’t be in a space to myself, I’ll leave.

-seeing a small number of families in person for kids’ sake, including a SMALL GROUP childcare arrangement. Not socializing with anyone outside of these families except in safe locations where we can be 6+ feet apart.

-at the moment I *will* go to public places where I can stay 6+ feet apart from others. Including restaurants and movie theaters. If I walked into one and saw anything resembling a crowd I would leave. I use my wipes on stuff here too.

-Riding public transportation. I did so this morning. I staggered commuting to avoid rush hour and stayed 6 feet away from everyone at all times. I used the hygiene practices above.

-pointing out to people (trying to do so gently) some of the stuff the news isn’t covering, and requesting to avoid shaming and stigma.

…

Thanks!

In the vein of advocating critical thinking and looking at primary sources instead of news articles, I suggest that people be REALLY careful when comparing different countries. Italy is being bandied about sensationalistically as a cautionary tale, when for a number of reasons it is not a useful comparison.

-there were ZERO distancing measures in place when the outbreak occurred — literally none.

-heavy travel / tourism / cruise ship destination

-significant cultural differences such as physical contact in greetings

-population density

-completely different healthcare system as well as safety net system. In other words firing people has less of a long-term impact (and will even after we put all these measures in place)

The truth is almost no other country is comparable to the US. The US is the only country on earth with at-will employment and the ability to (largely) change employment terms without consultation or agreement from employees. That makes the negative economic externalities of quarantine something that needs to be considered differently. The US’s lack of guaranteed healthcare is also pretty unique, which cuts in the opposite direction but also means that we should be focusing our efforts on *not overwhelming the medical system* but also keeping the supply chain going so that they can take care of patients.

Also re: “people dying in our age bracket” — again, I’d be careful because if you’re basing it on what I think you are, this is a sensationalized headline from France that materially omits any information about underlying health conditions.

(oh i see you said italy — with Italy, their system is overwhelmed already so more people will die.

…

This is not to say this is an invalid approach — it’s a fine approach! Much respect! Just urging folks to think critically about all the information they rely on.

Frankly I think people who are able to experience a lockdown without massive unnecessary suffering doing so is great. That just does not apply to most people and people can reasonably interpret the same information differently, so I’m urging everyone not to judge or imply that someone who is not yet on lockdown is a selfish asshole

…

Likewise on the country well being issue.

Not sure which CDC sites you’re reading but if you’re not in one of their mitigation guidance communities they are not recommending full lockdown.

And again, externalities. One can believe that significant distancing short of lockdown will strike the balance of the well being of our country better — I personally do. But everyone needs to make their own decisions- hopefully they will do so pragmatically in the near future after this mandatory global lockdown (which seems imminent)

16 (2nd post)

This is *seriously good stuff*. User-friendly, serious but non-alarmist, non-stigmatizing, time-limited.

https://www.whitehouse.gov/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/03.16.20_coronavirus-guidance_8.5x11_315PM.pdf

OMG. It is a cold day in hell. I am praising Trump. :-o

17
Partner: If a company is at 501 employees should they fire two employees so they can become eligible for the tax credits?
Me: Ask [name of someone else]. But uh, since you asked me … I’d advise against firing someone specifically to get tax credits when everyone around the country is suffering and they wouldn’t be able to get jobs… so… I would advise that any terminations that occur were going to occur anyway.
18
I may have a new winner
Client: can employer send “high-risk” workers home unpaid based on solely on their age and medical history?
Partner who received the inquiry: Uh no dude. bonnie am i missing anything
me: not much, only 10 billion additional reasons why this is a terrible idea
*****
Client: Can we put up this “score card” for HR showing a real-time breakdown of employees % healthy, % sick with non-COVID 19, and % sick with COVID-19? [screenshot included]
Attorney #1 who received the inquiry: IDK seems like a bad idea but who knows anymore let me shoot this to a bunch of my partners to talk it over.
Attorney #2 (4 minutes later): I responded privately to Attorney #1
Me: “Can you share? This is kind of horrifying to me”
Attorney #1: summarizes “pros and cons”
[Attorney #2 calls me and we spend 4 minutes saying WTF to each other and then decide that Attorney #2 is going to send her private response to the whole group and I’m going to respond to back her up]
Attorney #2: Dude, no
Me: Seriously, no. Here, take something I sent a different client in response to a much more reasonable question
Attorney #1: Phew thanks!
Attorney #3 (privately to me): And yet you said that that other client should disclose that other thing
Me: Yah that’s bc it is a totally different situation for these 8 reasons
Attorney #3: I was just kidding bra
Me: K well maybe I can take a joke later after I get over my heart attack at that screen shot
19
Clients: Can we require a doctor’s note to come back to work / use this new leave?
me: CDC guidance says not to [link]. defeats the point of social distancing. Here’s the protocol for discontinuing self-isolation [link]
Clients: oh ok. Gotcha. I understand. KTHX!
****
Colleagues: Regarding the new sick leave can we require a doctor’s note to use it / to come back to work after illness or quarantine?
me: CDC guidance says not to [link]. defeats the point of social distancing.
Colleagues: But ADA says you can.[link]
me: Yup. You can. The question is whether you should. CDC guidance says not to as it defeats the purpose of social distancing.
Colleagues: But FMLA says you can. [link]
me: Mhm. You sure can. But CDC guidance, in the context of this particular disease, says not to. They have specific guidance for discontinuing self-isolation depending on whether you were tested or not, without requiring a doctor’s note.
Colleagues: I am guessing you are as surprised as I am that two fed agencies offer varying levels of advice.
me: I don’t think there’s any question that it’s legally permitted.
CDC can’t forbid employers from requiring doctors’ notes or rewrite employment statutes. All they can do is explain what the point is of why you’re thinking about requiring a doctor’s note in the first place. And they have done so pretty clearly here where they say to employers, “Do not require a healthcare provider’s note for employees who are sick with acute respiratory illness to validate their illness or to return to work, as healthcare provider offices and medical facilities may be extremely busy and not able to provide such documentation in a timely way.”
Colleagues: Interestingly, DOL says you can, contrary to CDC guidance [link to generic pandemic page]
me: Yes, you can. But CDC guidance says not to. By the way have you checked twitter lately?
Colleague: ok makes sense

Client: Do I need to put an employee on unpaid leave and tell him not to come to work where: he had lunch with his sister, who works at a factory where one of her subordinate’s kids was with a group of friends in San Francisco a week or so ago and they all tested positive after the kid left. The kid has taken the test and they do not have the results yet.
Me: Um… no
Client: PHEW that’s what I thought but you never know these days

Partner: Client [hedge fund] wants to know if it can require asymptomatic employees to take a COVID-19 test every Sunday.

me: …………………..

[comment responses to the 17–19]

…why in the !@$*#()!%&@# are we shutting the economy down just so companies can send the handful of employees they’re not firing to the doctor to (a) catch COVID-19 (b) keep doctors away from seriously ill patients…

…[in response to criticism of fed govt requesting hospitals stop doing elective surgeries and many not listening] I don’t know what the definition of “elective” is but I thought it was “stuff that could be scheduled as opposed to emergency” … Which means people will die or be in pain if they don’t get. I’m not in favor of the shutdowns. They aren’t sustainable and will cause more death through poverty and suicide, domestic violence, etc. I am hopeful they will figure this out sooner rather than later and shift toward more sustainable measures like hygiene practices. I am trying to say this less because it is unpopular and the reactions I get to it affect my mental health, but I also think it’s important to be said.

Headlines will start to say it fairly soon once the sensationalism of testing everyone and finding out a ton of people with mild cases have it dies down…

This is not corporate profits! This is people becoming destitute and wards of the state! People will die. Great Depression. This is not a choice between death and no death. This is a choice of who dies and how many people suffer.

I have seen many things in my hundreds of emails from employers, but corporate greed is not one of them. Companies are firing people because they *have to*. “Sort through the fallout later” … that’s exactly what I see as the problem — “react, hot take, figure out the economic issues later.” I can’t get on board with that….

I don’t think any company [note: that is imposing cost-cutting measures right now ] thinks they will profit off of this. Seriously. Everyone is concerned about staying afloat at best…

Practically speaking I think we need shutdowns now because all the measures we’ve put into place already are burdening the medical system, making shutdowns necessary to prevent it from getting worse. I really wish we had done things differently, but we didn’t and we are where we are.

It bothers me that everyone seems to believe that the government should impose the maximum possible restrictions on an indefinite basis. Any prioritization of physical existence over freedom needs to be very carefully considered and discussed, and I don’t see that debate…

i think it’s dangerous to look at [headlines about recovery packages] and tune out all the irreversible suffering going on. not to say this isn’t a scary disease or the shutdowns aren’t necessary. it’s the narrative i’m concerned about, and the shaming of people who leave their house or imply that these things should be considered in decisionmaking in a more public fashion.

…

someone else just asked [a question about whether we can discriminate based on age] on a Bloomberg webinar I’m attending. They’re responding the same way but a little diplomatically for my liking … given the response i’ve gotten when i say “i rode marta yesterday,” no, i’m not going to be calling anyone a sociopath

… I definitely have told many clients to try to avoid excluding employees from the workplace unpaid — terrible incentives -

but if you think about it, if this is the line you’re drawing (mom had lunch with friend whose dog licked somebody’s second cousin who just got back from vegas with friends who tested positive), everyone’s going to be on paid leave pretty soon. And many companies legit cannot afford that.

24

Hey remember when i said a bunch of stuff that pissed everybody off for several weeks and then Donald Trump said the same thing, undermining my credibility?

And (pukes in mouth) I still agree with him (and Brian Kemp WTF!) more or less.

I must, though, account for the reality that we’re locked in a self-fulfilling prophecy wherein the stuff that’s already occurred in response to COVID-19 has swung the balance of risk in favor of shutdowns. In other words, the panic itself, plus the massive shutdowns impacting the supply chain, and the widespread isolation and quarantine protocols, *are definitely* overwhelming the medical system.

In addition to the “devastation of cure versus disease” stuff that Donald Trump and I apparently agree on, I believe that we need to not be ok with infringing on very basic freedoms, indefinitely. Further, we need to stop talking as if the virus is the only driver of decisionmaking. I believe that everyone needs to incorporate factors other than viral spread into their own views. Looking at headlines, the question has been framed as “what do we need to do to stop the spread?” — over the past few days there’s a footnote “oh crap everyone is losing their jobs.”

But shouldn’t the question *always be* “what do we need to do to minimize devastation and suffering given what we know about this disease at the moment?” Reasonable minds can differ on this, and public health authorities are not the only relevant experts when the question is framed this way — we need to work together on it.

As long as that is the question, I am comfortable with pretty much any answer to it, including “stop the viral spread at all costs.” My views have certainly evolved on this question, in the direction of “need shutdown” (well, “need shutdown because shutdown” but still). But I just worry that we are not asking ourselves the question in this way. E.g., it disturbs me when really really invasive emergency orders the likes of which I’m not sure any of us have ever seen get issued… and the general reaction is “they should have closed the beltline” It also disturbs me (though less so) when I see people gloating about taking Trump down over this. I’m not so sure that is what is going to happen, especially if the economy remains shut down indefinitely.

26

Meta text message argument between my brother and me at the tail end of an argument about a WaPo op-ed:

Last night -

me: So…you’re making my point.

brother: Regardless of what I say you interpret it as supporting your point.

me: No…that’s the first time I’ve said that or anything resembling. me: You really are full of ad hominem

me: And I don’t do that to you

brother: you have literally said exactly that at least five or 6 times since we started this discussion

me: scroll up

brother: or more

me: Screen shot

me: I have told you 5–6 times that you’re arguing a straw man

me: But not that you’re making my point.

brother: You have. I’m not going to dig it up right now because I have to teach an online class from home at 8 AM tomorrow…

me: Convenient

me: I absolutely HAVE NOT

brother: I’m sure you BELIEVE that you never said I was making your point but I clearly remember it AT LEAST one other time, and probably several more

me: I will go back and read

me: But I think you’re thinking of the straw man thing

brother: Nope

brother: We’ll see

[digression back into real discussion, which is quite civil at this point]

….

me: Anyway my thumbs are tired…

brother: I’m at a keyboard right now and you’re at a phone so the playing field is slightly more level

brother: but still tilted to you

….

midnight, 2 hours later

…

brother: here’s one [screen shot of me saying “You are explaining my point” from last Saturday]

me: That wasn’t today

…

This morning -

brother: where did I stipulate “today”? I said “since we started this discussion”

me: Lol so since all of our discussions about coronavirus I’ve said that twice

brother: you might have said it on fb too

brother: I didn’t check

me: Three times eh? You have an interesting arguing style

brother: my class is in 18 minutes DO NOT INTERRUPT ME

brother: no time for this

me: Why are you texting me then?

…

[waits til after his class]

me: I’m posting this meta argument it’s too funny

brother: [barrage of 7 texts about jobless claims data, still typing]

April

13

Tidbits from Pesach:

I did do my cleaning, including some of the more ritualistic parts like dropping the big rock in the boiling water and pouring boiling water on the counters … but overall I’ve been a bit more relaxed about it this year. Don’t even try to avoid kitniyot.

The one silver lining in this school closure is that I have to deal less with the whining about easter egg hunts. But I did put together a chametz-hunt on Thursday night before. I basically hid mac and cheese boxes, etc., around the house. The kids searched in the dark with our phone flashlights. They loved it.

I have never done a seder at home before. Various reasons for that. But we did this year and it was less depressing than I expected.

The PJ Library haggadah is superb. I could only find one copy but it enabled us to do a no-prep, easy, fun, engaging seder. It doesn’t seem like seder without guests*… but we surprised ourselves with an impromptu 2-kid play, music, and engagement with the material (for the most part).

Maybe my favorite part of the PJ Haggadah is the “four sons” piece. I have many issues with the traditional phrasing, like, SO many. PJ does an unbelievable job, and creates a version I can actually do with my kids.

And this non-zoom” seder went much more smoothly than our “zoom” seder. If you’re doing a zoom seder the leader pretty much needs to mute everyone else or else it’s chaos. And you need a pretty big speaker to hear the leader over the kids. And for someone who loves the singing parts, singing over zoom is profoundly unsatisfying.

Eden still thinks Elijah is a girl. I refuse to correct her.

My kids are in love with matzo ball soup. Box kind, of course.

15

Levine dinner today:

Me [to Michael] : I was thinking last night about how you said I’m working more than usual, and I think there’s a couple of reasons why that is… I mean, for one thing, I was noticing today that I really can’t concentrate with the kids in the house and I work much slower -

Eden: Why did you even birth us then?

Me: WHAT?!

Eden: Why did you even birth us if you couldn’t work as fast with us in the house?

Me: Welll… I wasn’t supposed to ever have to, you were supposed to be at school, and I was supposed to be at work.

— -

Emet: We’re supposed to be 6 feet apart because of coronavirus… but we’re not 6 feet apart at this table.

me: How do you even know about that??

Eden: Remember when that girl named [***] came over? [- NOTE: PRE LOCKDOWN]

— -

Michael [absentmindedly singing letters and accidentally sings “KKK”]: Wait — not KKK!

Eden: Why? What’s KKK?

Emet: JKG?

Us: NO.

Michael: [explains KKK very basically as a hate group, etc.]

Eden: I had a dream I saw Martin Luther King!

Michael: You HAD A DREAM, huh?

Eden: UGH. [she’s old enough to groan at Dad puns, go Eden]

— -

[after dinner on piano]

Emet: I can’t use this sound.

Michael: Yeah you can.

Emet: But it’s Shabbat.

Michael: No, it’s not Shabbat. I know it kind of feels like it’s always Shabbat because of Coronavirus!

20

Kemp 1. canceled school for the rest of the year 2. just opened some businesses abruptly, which jeopardizes the possibility of the kids going to camp or to school in the fall.

How DARE you, how DARE you close schools for the rest of the year and reopen entertainment first??

I just had to furlough someone despite my practice group’s being basically busier than ever… and we all got pay cuts….

Just… just….

[comments]

Is it really so true that so many boomers literally just don’t care what happens after they die?…it’s ridiculously short-sighted. Our whole response from beginning to end has been short-sighted and reactionary….

…Nobody agrees with me. Everyone probably agrees with at least like 10% of what I think, though, so that’s something. Mostly they don’t realize that though because I sometimes avoid talking w people about things unless we have some level of disagreement on it bc pileons are part of what terrifies me about this thing. But today it was one thing after another… and I had an opinion I knew a lot of my people who have been disagreeing w me lately would agree w, so I posted it…

…My views on this are more nuanced than the post may seem. I have been beating the sustainable drum from the start. My main source of fury is reopening nonessential businesses before schools, without mentioning a plan for schools. And I am absolutely enraged about that. I also would probably wait a bit longer even absent the school thing but I am not raging about that… just that everything seems so reactionary and dramatic and the kids will be around in this world the longest and can’t vote or spend money and They should not have to be the ones that lose out on education bc salons opened too quickly… to me, if you [Kemp] were comfortable closing schools til the end of the year back then, you should be comfortable waiting to open anything else until summer, and it should start with “kids’ summer programs”

Here’s where we get to the “bonnie disagrees w/everyone” part — people will die either way and the “some people are more disposable” cuts both ways too. We need to be clear-headed and measured on everything, and we need to acknowledge the life-or-death struggles of those who can’t make ends meet and who see the COVID threat a bit differently because of the other threats they have to deal with.

What Kemp is responding to is legitimate but how he responded to it is completely wrong and appears to be politically driven. I disagree with Fauci that “the virus decides the timeline.” We need to decide the timeline *based on* the virus — and we need to think about other things when we do it too. If we don’t, then those voices will feel unheard and may do ridiculous things like block ambulances at the hospital.

29

Someday children you will look back and remember this Interesting time, with fond nostalgia for the night after I had been working 12–16 hour days for over a month (no matter how great you’ve got it, it’s still hard to concentrate with 2 kids in the house) and oscillating through various phases of losing my mind, and you guys jumped up and snuggled next to me in bed, and Eden, you grabbed the ipad on which I was watching Love Island and insisted on finishing the episode while Emet, you laid your head on my shoulder in an uncharacteristically still moment, riveted by my game of Diablo III.

“Mama! Pay attention! There’s a giant monster!” “Oh sorry, I just needed to see whether Emily was ACTUALLY GOING TO GO BACK TO WESTON. Eden, did she?”

A little later, trying to salvage whatever harm the previous hour did to their brains…

me: I don’t want you to look at that show and think that means you have to marry a girl, you can marry a boy or a girl, anyone you want.

Emet: Yeah, I think a boy. But I’m not sure yet.

me: That’s fine, you don’t have to make any decisions now, it’s what makes you happy, you can marry a boy or a girl or no one. That doesn’t matter, just that you are happy.

Emet: Yah. I know. It matters if all the people in all the towns die. That’s the most important.

guess that just about sums it up

May

3

Count us among those who didn’t get something checked out bc of COVID and should have…

Eden has had a tick on her scalp for a month. Teladoc didn’t think it was a tick when we first noticed it at the end of MArch, so we didn’t take her in. Would we have otherwise? I can’t be totally sure, but not wanting to go to the doctor definitely factored into the equation.

Right now we told her we thought it was another nevus sebaceous like the one on her nose (which is what we thought it was…), but she knows she has to go to the doctor tomorrow because the teladoc told us to. Once we tell her what it is, she will lose her damn mind. She is extremely sensitive about pain, doctors, insects, and other weird stuff.

At least if it’s a tick and it’s still in, they can test for Lyme. She hasn’t had any Lyme symptoms — that’s the one bright side, she hasn’t been exposed to the usual colds so has had zero cold / flu-like symptoms.

We may have to go to the ER tomorrow. We are going to try dermatologist first, then pediatrician, then urgent care. But we are being advised that it should not wait any longer and better to go to ER than to not get it taken out ASAP. Teladoc even suggested I should go to the ER tonight, but I’m not getting her up and causing her to go insane for an extra day after it’s already been so long. Ughhhhhhh

At least we have some masks from Korea now (my thoughtful associate whose mom sent her a bunch). I think my mom is sending me some homemade ones too soon.

12

It’s been awhile since I subjected you all to my “politically unpopular on all sides” COVID opinion. And at least one person has requested them. And I accidentally clicked on a US news source this AM and learned Fauci’s about to make yet another fire and brimstone statement (but the headline contained the content of the statement…so…?).

“The virus makes the timeline” is one of my least favorite sound bytes out there, especially when invariably followed by … policy statements drafted by… wait for it… humans.

Viruses can’t draft timelines or safety protocols. Viruses can’t research vaccines. Viruses can’t overhaul our education and cultural systems in a manner that leaves people depressed and indefinitely disempowered.

Not all humans will simply consent to a fate of indefinite depression and disempowerment. Particularly once they become unable to afford to, but the phenomenon is not limited to those financially underprivileged. If we refuse to acknowledge this reality, *things will be less safe*. This has already started to happen; vigilante shaming will not make it go away, it will just make it worse. At its extreme, that’s what leads to revolution. You can call those people stupid, but you can’t shame them out of existence.

Perhaps these things depress me disproportionately because I spend all my days writing global safety protocols and studying COVID responses outside the US. Other countries are *doing it better*. Instead of leading with “we are at the mercy of a virus” and sensationalizing death counts, they are (1) making timelines or saying when they plan to make timelines (2) THEN caveating those timelines with “unless these things don’t happen” (3) focusing on safety measures instead of constantly fighting about timelines (4) not coming across so damn paternalistic and condescending (5) citing the nonviral harms — citing them, not shouting them — making their scientific virus messaging much more credible

Science matters — what matters even more at a high level is the words we use to describe science if we want those outside our political echo chamber to listen. Ceding symbolic control of our future to a microscopic parasite is a harmful way to articulate what really amounts to a very simple “we don’t know.” There are never any guarantees, but humans need to harness the control we do have into rather than trying to terrify people into submission to something unsustainable. In addition to causing unnecessary emotional suffering, “the virus makes the timeline” rhetoric is simply not a successful tactic for keeping people safe.

[comments]

a corollary of my “long diatribe” that I decided not to put in -

“The enemy of my enemy is my friend” logic is driving way too much of policymaking here. This is not a productive way to approach a pandemic. Again, I do not see this is in other countries. It is a weakness of decentralized government that the pandemic is exposing.

We all must acknowledge that we are *all* susceptible to the power of propaganda, no matter how intelligent we are. My brother has accurately pointed out that this statement sounds elitist / condescending and not terribly effective to make my point that “one should avoid statements that are elitist / condescending.” I can’t pretend to know exactly how my own “propagandameter” works but it seems to shake out in a tendency to overreactively recoil at anything with a hashtag, a decontextualized graphic, or that “quips” a very high-stakes and complicated concept in a manner that is foreseeably “viral” (in the other sense!).

…

[it is] challenging [to choose language to explain scientific / medical facts to non-scientists]. I don’t envy the task and I don’t want to be kvetching without offering a solution, which is why I point to other countries. I also suggest everyone read “Moral Tribes,” where there’s a section on climate change and abortion. Claiming to speak “on behalf of science” on a charged issue is a nonstarter to anyone other than those predisposed to agree with you. So “the virus makes the timeline” is unhelpful and noncredible statement except with my 4 and 6 year olds, where I unapologetically instruct them that the virus says to wash your hands.

… This [blog link] is closer to the discussion I think we should be having, but anytime something is preceded by a GIANT EYE ROLL, a lot of people stop listening. Sincerely, The person who started her post with a giant eye roll. in fairness, both my facebook and erinbromage.com are outlets designed for giant eye rolls, but I’m not helping my case against sound bytes when i start my screed against sound bytes with a giant eye roll…

… We might disagree on what those institutions are, but I’m sure you’re right [that some institutions are getting the balance right]. It’s nuance, but most of what I see in this country is “We will NOT do x until y” and outside the country is “we will DO X at Y time unless Z.” Like you do not see headlines outside the US (at least in any of the sources I can access) like “IT COULD BE YEARS BEFORE KIDS GO BACK TO SCHOOL FULL TIME.” What does that headline actually achieve? Shock, fear, visceral emotion.

I’m just disappointed in so much of that — and my brother points out that when I lament the rhetoric that I am missing a lot of counterexamples and engaging in false equivalence (because most of the rhetoric I find the most harmful right now is coming from the “left”). But that’s part of the problem too, right? The sound bytes are rising to the surface and the good stuff is buried and people can’t find it. In the other countries I look at, the good stuff isn’t buried. There isn’t “What the CDC says” and then “a bunch of all caps headlines quoting the scariest thing the CDC said.”

Like, I’ve seen “we don’t make the timeline, the virus makes the timeline” in SO many places that, mere hours before my virtual therapy session to address “hey maybe you should stop airing your grievances to people because it is making you miserable” … I simply COULD NOT resist the urge to air my grievances about it. Fauci is coming close to Trump in terms of my “people I want to put on a dartboard” list.

I have taken actual steps toward moving to Toronto, I’ve lost so much faith.

…I mean, technically living in bubbles is always safer. But is it though? You say “simply,” but nothing about this is simple. That is my primary issue with how this country is handling the pandemic, as compared to everywhere else in the world where they are responding with a degree of nuance that suits the situation better. also why are republicans venturing out at their own peril as opposed to democrats? Bc they’re older / more susceptible to chronic conditions? “Republicans” are no more likely to contract COVID-19 than democrats. I viscerally react to statements and sound bytes like “staying in is safer than going out.” It’s not that simple. People may stay in and commit suicide or abuse their loved ones, or lose their minds and perform poorly at work and lose their jobs. Mental health is real and a public health issue. And it causes death, a LOT of death. It bothers me that we’re not talking about it at all, and that people like Fauci consider it irrelevant to safety planning…

…”Indiscriminately opening the country will be murder” is an example of the kind of problematic rhetoric that distracts from the stats and facts that (EDIT: WE need)….Whoops I hate when I press enter for a line break and it submits the comment. Anyway — “indiscriminately opening the country” and “muzzling science advisors” are things that no one is suggesting. “Imploring science advisors to be a little more circumspect in how they communicate science,” yes.

You are a scientist — lots of people are not scientists and are adhering to this “virus makes the timeline” shtick without noticing that it’s Fauci is making the timeline on behalf of the virus. And he’s not actually making one, just naysaying — and it’s not effective to convince people.

Yesterday he engaged in some pretty dangerous speculation regarding COVID-19 and kids, claiming to be risk averse. I can’t get on board w/ a public health scientist who fails to balance different public health risks in a credible manner. That is not a science advisor, that’s a “COVID-19 curve advisor.” My point is actually that no one is going to listen to the science if Fauci keeps communicating the way he is, and we’re much more likely to “indiscriminately open the country” if Fauci keeps spinning wheels.

When you say different countries have different levels of issues, is the implication that we need to be handling this the way we’re handling it / that my comparison to other countries is unfair? I certainly agree that we’re different than other countries but it’s not in our COVID curves, it’s in our political system. And I think we could be doing better…

1 — I get that I’m WAY more bugged by words / rhetoric than most people.

2 — Re: dartboard — totally fair point, as was the eye roll at the beginning of the post. I am totally venting. When I’m objecting to narrative, I am talking less about people’s private social media posts and more about media sensationalism. I AM talking about how media sensationalism is driving people’s inflammatory rhetoric, so I should be more careful in my own — I check myself in my nonlocked writings, and haven’t done much of those about this because my opinions are meta and very poorly received among basically everyone I politically agree with on most other things (I did a very oblique times of israel post, that’s about it).

3 — also fair that I’m being a little rough on Fauci himself when what I’m really enraged about is the state of American politics. I’m less mad that Fauci said that particular sentence than that EVERYONE is now saying it and using it to frame the discussion and shut down other discussions. My objection to the statement and about Fauci generally is that Fauci has become a cult figure (predictable in this country — basically if you’re not a cult figure you’re not interesting to anyone), and that the phrase seems to have symbolized the entire narrative in this country.

4 — re: yesterday and my broader objection to Fauci’s analysis specifically… I don’t expect him to opine on economics but if he calls himself a science advisor / public health expert, he should at least be thinking about “broader science than COVID-19.” And honestly his caveats came across to me as kind of backpedaling. And this part may not be Fauci’s fault but why can’t we get the economists and Fauci in the same room and talk about something other than a yes/no question?

…I agree w all of those articles that attribute the state of affairs to Trump. 100%. The Vox article definitely captures the same things I am frustrated about, particularly the part you quoted. Where these articles lose me is that lamenting Trump’s damage doesn’t help anything, it just furthers the back and forth and desire to argue about whose fault this is rather than what the F do we do. Trump isn’t going to change and so the best we can do is try to get people who are capable of adjusting their rhetoric and strategy to do so. And the answer cannot be “the virus makes the timeline” — a statement that I realize has now been divorced from context, but I think Fauci needs to focus on correcting that too.

I really don’t like that Kemp issued the order when he did, and I really REALLY don’t like the deprioritization of schools and taking risks now that foreseeably backslide into “welp, now the cases have gotten worse and we need to keep schools closed.” That is inexcusable to me.

But I did like the order itself because it contained specific guidance for employers tailored to their industry. I felt the “bowling alley” piece got a bad rap because of course it’s ridiculous to OPEN BOWLING ALLEYS BEFORE SCHOOLS, but if you read the order in the light of “someday, bowling alleys need to open and they can’t until they do this,” it’s actually a really good thing that Georgia is warning businesses down to the “here’s how you keep your bowling balls” level.

Employers are having to make these decisions themselves because of the narrative in this country and the shutdown / polarization of the discussion and the “lack of a plan”. I don’t feel like I should be the one coming up with content of employer safety protocols, for example, but the closest thing to someone who SHOULD do it is me if the government isn’t telling businesses what to do … If you’re able to get past “too soon” (which I agree w/on the merits), it’s a pretty good order. But no one is reading it. I liked the article Steve linked for this reason — “a bunch of people are not going to agree on the timing so let’s please focus on what we can agree on and not waste so much time arguing constantly over the timing.”

Like, “look, if we ease restrictions *at all* now, predictions show that this may happen. here is how we would best respond to that. and if it got too bad, we would want to be open to future lockdowns of greater stringency.” I’m not seeing much modeling that is specific to different levels of restrictions get much play. It’s just a binary argument that’s inherently NOT BINARY, because there’s no world in which “100% of people stay home.” There are some nuanced decisions that need to be made no matter what — this is my issue with oversimplifying this, and with the “virus makes the timeline” phrase. That’s just not true. We need to decide what businesses are essential, how people are going to get food, etc, at an ABSOLUTE minimum…

…The election year part is a whole nother conversation (and argument w/my brother). I agree completely with the premise you are stating, but not the tactics / strategy. My brother thinks I’m too hard on the Democrats because I’m always criticizing their apparent strategy but it’s part of the same issue underlying my post here. I criticize Democrat strategy bc criticizing the Republicans on anything ever is a complete nonstarter and waste of my breath.

Reasonable people can for sure disagree on this, but the people who think it’s Trump’s fault already think it’s Trump’s fault — and the Vox article won’t change any minds and won’t reach any suppressed voters. Too many resources are being spent running in circles over “whether we are opening too soon” and whose fault it is.

For the public health issue, in my view we need to be focused on the “here’s what’s safer and not based on what we know so far,” which was very well put…

And for the political issue, I think that every ounce of effort needs to be put into GOTV….

“We don’t know” can be weakness or it can be strength — for the sake of humans it just needs to be “we don’t know so here is what we are going to do about it as things develop.”

What drives me nuts is the American political tendency to be binary, and this is not what I’m seeing in other countries. We are running in circles on “open” or “closed” and it’s not productive and it doesn’t do much for anyone outside of the ivory tower…point w/the ivory tower remark is that people within the ivory tower have the luxury of remaining there indefinitely without devastating consequences. “ivory tower” was probably a bit of an inaccurate reference, what I really meant was “white collar types who can work from home.” No one is immune from massive salary cuts, or reductions in force, etc. — the financial impacts are going to be devastating and result in *public health consequences* that I think it’s fair for Fauci to keep up to speed on. :)

But the intellectual elite are much less likely to end up literally on the street and have a longer fuse.

Not an indefinite fuse, but a longer one, and my point about it is really that these types can’t take their own “white collar” “work from home next to yelling kids” suffering (which is extremely real btw) and use it to gauge when the rest of the country is going to REVOLT over the lack of a plan or a light at the end of the tunnel.

Also as a person whose previous life was centered around the spiritual community, my personal suffering is really wrapped up in the lack of attention within the spiritual community to HOPE, to lights at ends of tunnels.

The past week or so, everyone is talking about the dangers of communal singing. Yes. Understood. That does need to be said. My parents even had a tragic outbreak among their choir. It is VERY important to put this science out there and widely.

But when speaking to those of us who have a gaping hole in our hearts right now from the inability to sing communally, is it really necessary to include the (definitionally speculative) warning that it could be a year or more before anyone can sing together again?

Sure, that’s a possibility — and we get as singers that our singing is much less “essential” and it’s a no-brainer to prioritize almost everything else over it (maybe not bowling). But “WHEN WILL WE SING AGAIN” is a question to which — unlike “when will kids go back to school” — “we really don’t know but we’re getting as creative as we can in the meantime” is all that needs to be said.

“We might not sing for a year” is just not a thing that I can see value in saying in the vast majority of contexts (internal conversations among those in charge of singing groups the exception). For most people, “we can’t sing right now, and we don’t know when we will be able to” is sufficient. So part of this is that I’m frustrated at how unwilling people like Fauci are to concretize any even tentative timelines while others rush to put scary timelines on things we really DON’T need timelines on.

And I have a husband that I can harmonize with anytime I want within my house!!! And the next social distancing step out from home, a sister down the road for that purpose too! I honestly can’t imagine how I would feel about being forced to contend emotionally with “you can’t sing in harmony for a year” without that.

…Another self-pitying and also grateful comment — I’m getting frequently misunderstood as saying “gee I think we should open everything right now with no restrictions,” because I’m so worked up about how screwed up the messaging about it is. This conversation has been helpful in that regard because y’all are engaging on what I’m actually saying without accusing me (implicitly or explicitly) of wanting a bunch of people to die or insulting my intelligence. (Thank you Sister! I really needed this.)

For the record, if I were “the virus making the timeline,” I would like to remain on “full lockdown” all summer and make a conditional commitment to open schools in the fall.

But if the narrative remains like it is, I would actually (selfishly) like to remain as shut down as possible for much longer, as long as it takes to find a vaccine, cure, or declare martial law for the full incubation period to attempt eradication. It’s easy for me to tell my kids “we’re not allowed to see anyone” but once that’s no longer really true / they’re out and about, I’m really concerned that parents will start grilling each other about who they interact with, what their jobs are, etc., and our kids will be having to deal with “i can’t be friends w/that person bc they don’t like your social distancing practice.” OR — just avoiding certain “Types” of people based on their biases. I am really nervous about “safety” turning into a pretext for discrimination…

Agree 100% that our media is a huge part of the problem. And yes to the extent my frustration is directed AT Fauci, it’s somewhat misplaced — it is way more ABOUT him than AT him. But here are the two things that frustrate me as to Fauci himself.

I hold intelligent individuals within the Trump administration to a very high standard of offsetting the reckless messaging of the Trump administration. Fauci is missing opportunities here.

Fauci has now become a cult figure, and we’ve been down the “cult figure” road enough times for those who become cult figures (e.g. Comey) to take notice of their power and act with concordant responsibility. Fauci is starting to remind me a bit of Gilderoy Lockhart in Harry Potter. Admittedly I read that book to my daughter at night so I’m predisposed to Harry Potter analogies and that one in particular based on where I am in the series now. One can dig and find the important bits, but I think it’s fair to hold Fauci accountable to know how his stuff is spun, which things he says “go viral” and which don’t.

Given his stature within the public narrative he should also know that he does not have full control anymore about what the public perceives him to be an expert on.

Yes, he caveated that he’s not an economics expert. But:

(1) There are other public health angles that he is ignoring, which is only appropriate for him to do if he clearly and prevalently portrays himself as a “COVID-19 epidemiological curve expert” and not a general public health advisor. When he calls himself an authority on public health generally, the implication from his *absolute focus* on the COVID-19 curve is that any countervailing public health concerns are irrelevant and unimportant. These include alcoholism and substance abuse, people too scared / deterred to treat themselves for other conditions, domestic abuse, accidents from unsupervised kids, suicide, and poverty. I don’t think it’s too much to expect the guy to acknowledge these things, model them, or explain why the COVID-19 risk is worse.

He crossed a line for me in credibility when he spoke about children the other day — it is not a credible or evidence-based statement that the risk to children from COVID-19 is worth harming them with other risks to children that have a likelihood of being increased by not going back to school. Failing to acknowledge those risks while implying that we should keep kids out of school *because of the risk to kids* — which is entirely speculative at the moment based on the evidence including what Fauci (in my opinion recklessly cited without appropriate caveats) — is a dereliction of duty in my view. There are lots of reasons to keep kids out of school, but because of *kids’* severe illness from COVId not one of them.

(2) It’s foreseeable from his own communications that the American public construes his expertise and authority even more broadly than he portrays (which in my view is too broadly a la above). The American public sees him as a PUBLIC POLICY expert, whether a given individual would articulate it that way or not. And the only time he really reminds us he’s not is when cross-examined.

(Also if it helps, I had a similar meltdown about James Comey, though less publicly)

would agree 100% [that his remarks were fair in context of questions he didn’t control and limited time] were it not for the cult figure phenomenon. Which I know is not something he sought out. But in my view he does have a little bit more control than you suggest above.

I think we agree on 99% of what’s wrong here, we just disagree that Fauci can do anything about it. My view is that Fauci is the ONLY one who can do anything about it. Disagreement totally understood on that point.

…it’s “the state of media” that’s a better description [than railing on “the media” itself]. But it includes social media, and I’m not sure I agree with the sharing articles point because it’s not us who decides who gets to see what articles, it’s facebook. I think “people sharing links they like” is contributing to the propaganda issue. I know I will not win that argument with most people. I have been railing on FB for this since 2005…non-American news sources don’t sensationalize nearly as much

14

When I work from home, I am in a constant state of elevated anxiety. My office is right in the middle of a very open plan house. My kids are LOUD… LOUD when they’re happy (their rooms are right on top of my office and they like jumping and wrestling — loud enough for clients to notice) and LOUD when they’re sad, especially Emet who honestly seems not to be coping with this whole thing that well. When Emet wails, as he does A LOT, my heart rate shoots up and my brain begins to throb; my emails become curt and irritable.

A lot of times my kids are also not doing what I wish they were doing, and flaunting that in eye or earshot of me, and I bear the stress of “they don’t have enough routine, they’re having too much screen time, why aren’t they outside,” etc. (which is not a knock on my husband, who is doing great and also DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS SHIT… but he is also conscious of this and it increases HIS anxiety, which I can sense and that increases MY anxiety more…). They are on the screens too much and use up my internet bandwidth.

I only eat what my husband literally puts in front of me, and when I get hungry at other times my illustrative diet is Milk Duds and pinot grigio, the latter of which I start craving around 4 PM. Part of the reason I don’t eat is because lord help everyone if I go into the kitchen and there are dishes in the sink. Or, my husband will take or make a phone call on speaker in the next room and I will LOSE MY DAMN MIND over it.

My airpods don’t fit me that well and sometimes I’m on the phone so long that they start running out of battery. The internet is sluggish, and while I’m lucky enough to have an extra monitor and a printer, I really need two screens at a time and one of them being a laptop screen doesn’t work. My house is a damn mess and I can’t stand to look at it, but of course I have to look at it because it’s staring me in the face.

I did not even realize this enough to articulate it until Monday, when I had to go in to give a virtual presentation (with reliable internet and camera) for the first time in >6 weeks and it was AMAZING. I haven’t felt that big of a weight off my shoulders since I got back from my first maternity leave. (I realize that both of these sentences make me appear like I do not enjoy being around my children… I will cop to that my attention span for babies and children is below average for mothers and WELL below 16 hours a day, particularly cumulatively over months.) Working in the office made me feel so much more like a human that as soon as the kids were in bed that night I CRIED to Michael about all these things that I hadn’t even understood how much they were bothering me.

The next day I went back, because I needed to catch up on some things and had to leave the house anyway to get my antibody test. When I got home Michael asked me, “how was your day?” and I paused, and said “better!” and he said “me too!” and then we just LAUGHED for several minutes. I worked from home the following day and things were better because I knew that I was going back to the office the day after that.

I will probably go in 1–3 days a week from now on. I feel a little guilty for “nonessential departure from my house to another indoor space for a prolonged period of time on a regular basis.” But at some point “not being miserable and in a state of physical panic” comes closer to “necessary for survival.”

Being at work — there is still almost no one here, especially on my floor. I wear a face covering outside my office and close the door when I’m in it. I sanitize and wash before and after the restroom. I also do things like push buttons with my pinky finger, opening doors with my elbows or a paper towel. I am never in the same room with someone for more than about 60 seconds if someone happens to be in the kitchen when I’m getting water. But of course, I *can* work from home and it would be saferfromCOVID to be home. And I would do it if I felt that it was safer overall. But turning into a depressed divorced angry alcoholic with high blood pressure and no friends is not. So at least until there is reason to consider myself a COVID risk to others, regularly office working *is safer*.

The country needs to follow the lead of many others and put the highest possible priority on kids going back to school — that should be the driver of the reopening strategy, and we need to start talking about HOW we open schools as soon as possible and make sacrifices in other areas (like bowling alleys, but even more) to accomplish it.

There are SO many reasons for this, of course, but one of them is that otherwise, more people who *could* work remotely may give up and go back to work for the sake of their sanity, familial relationship, and parenting capacities (which are much more important for CHILD physical and emotional safety, when they are the only sources of adult nurturing).

This leads me to another entry in my dictionary of “pandemic rhetoric” that I am authoring to annoy everyone …I can’t pin this one on Fauci (that I know of, haha), but “safe” is another word that is starting to get under my skin. That term has stopped meaning “safe” and started meaning “safefromCOVID.” I use it that way in dozens of documents I have to draft for clients. I majored in Linguistics, I WELL KNOW that it is pointless to deny lexical evolution, but I’m going to call it out because when our subconscious minds start to believe that “safefromCOVID” is the only variable contributing to “safe,” I believe we are, well, not safe. From COVID or in general.

June 4

When I get overwhelming writing issues it’s a tossup whether the one I hit post on will be dark or whimsy. This one may be kinda both.

I don’t know who I am right now because COVID took away my entire personality and lifestyle. That sounds terrible and it is terrible but there are things about it which are not terrible. More about that later, that and possibly some sort of dump of thoughts on racial justice, joy at hearing Obama’s voice again, and teeny shreds of hope that things could change for the better even if I am too cynical to believe that most of the time. Most of the time I believe that in the last few years, and dramatically in the last few months, the world has changed irreparably for the worse.

As I mourn my pre-pandemic self and our pre-pandemic world, I feel unbelievably lucky to have experienced the world when and how I did. I’m grateful for the bigger things too, of course, but these are some littler ones that are just, wow

-After like several years of no vacations, I went on two leisure trips in December and February. One of them was a cruise, that my kids got to experience.

-I saw some of Europe and spent significant time in other countries.

-My kids went to Disney.

-I was a global business traveler. I flew in Delta One. I made diamond medallion (even though it will expire before I get to use it!)

-My kids are old enough to remember a bit before COVID, but not old enough to miss it or be traumatized by what got taken away from them

-I had my babies before COVID and spared myself the experience of puking into a face covering

-My house has a music studio in it.

-My house has a BAND in it, now that Emet can drum pretty well! And I married someone I can harmonize with.

-The splurges we made in moving to this house in this neighborhood, including putting up a fancy swingset, have been a miracle.

-By the time we have any need whatsoever for two cars again, I may be less of a pariah to insurance companies.

18

IDK if it’s just bc I did my honors thesis on language evolution, was a complete fangirl of JB White and his in law school, was then a complete fangirl of Bryan Garner in my first years as a lawyer, draft corporate messaging on really sensitive subjects as a big part of my job … but I’m obsessed with language and the meaning of words. I believe that words are the primary weapon in the information wars, and that they cause devastating harm. I also know enough to know that there is very little anyone can do to prevent language change or make a concerted change to language (e.g. to ban a word or to insist that a word doesn’t mean X because it used to mean Y).

The last time I felt like this was after the “soup nazi” episode of Seinfeld came out. I knew that would accelerate the normalization of the term “nazi” such that it’s very difficult to object to its use as a colloquialism now. After all, Seinfeld was Jewish!

People would use “nazi” that way in group settings, and other people would laugh / receive the usage, and I would feel isolated and afraid. I felt that using “nazi” casually would ultimately make it easier for people to forget the Holocaust, or misconstrue it. Regardless of whether that usage itself had influence or was just a symptom, I have felt that Holocaust education and awareness has eroded alarmingly in the last two decades.

I can’t stand the COVID lingo; cannot stand words and phrases that present themselves in the vast majority of my interactions outside of work. Ergo…. I avoid human interaction outside of work. I exhaust all of my social energy trying to present a face of non-insanity to my children (who use some of the triggering COVID lingo sometimes!!! despite the fact that Michael and I don’t use it to talk to each other). I have not really left my house in a month. I would rather stay here than deal with “the new normal” (one of the phrases I don’t like).

My brain is full of gratitude even if I can’t make the rest of me match it. I feel purposeful in my work. And I have a husband who accepts that I’m depressed, gives me space, picks up ALL THE SLACK OF RUNNING EVERYTHING AROUND HERE, and does not shame me for it.